Big Dress Avoidance Rant
I've been working on the muslin for The Big Dress, and honestly, I feel like I'm just spinning my wheels.
I've draped and re-draped the bodice, but no matter what I do, I can't shake the feeling that it's too soon to be making a muslin. This probably explains why I posted about the tragic love affair between my dress dummy and my vacuum cleaner - I am slowly going crazy.
As I work on the muslin, the clear picture I have in my head (of the dress I thought I wanted) keeps changing, and it's driving me mad. It's not that I've forgotten what it looks like, it's just that the picture keeps changing, now, and nothing is sticking, so every time I try to adapt my muslin to the picture, by the time I'm finished, it no longer matches the new picture in my mind.
I have a number of photos I've been using for inspiration, ones that I've gotten from bridal shows, magazines, and websites, and honestly, the dresses I LOVE are all so different that I'm completely stuck. I've been to bridal salons and tried on a number of styles, and while I'm not egotistical enough to say that they all look fabulous on me, they at least, for the most part, all look just fine.
I've tried on about 60 dresses over the past two years (we've been engaged since August 2006), but I've never had that "this is the one" feeling, because it's always been in my heart to make my own dress.
The closest I've come to that feeling was when I tried on the muslin for The Small Dress. That muslin is NOT finished to a high standard (or barely any standard), but it IS the overall correct look and feel; it's simple and comfortable, but with the correct fabric, and the judicious use of sparkly beads, it will become something a little more formal. Admittedly, the picture in that post does make me look like a bit of a bridge troll, but that's due more to the fact that I'm the least photogenic human being on earth than to any failing of the dress itself.
Anyway, I've been watching a lot of Say Yes To The Dress on TLC, reading my nine thousand bridal magazines, and looking at an endless number of dresses online, but while I'm sure it's hurting my ability to make a firm decision, I honestly don't think that quitting is an option at this point.
I think the biggest thing thats hurting me that I can't decide on a color.
I prefer silver over gold, but gold looks better on me. I love dresses in non-traditional colors like red and blue, but I find that if you're not really careful, you end up looking less like a bride and more like a prom queen, which is not a BAD thing, but it's not what I personally want from my Big Dress.
The groomsmen are going to be wearing vests like this one, which is a hunting camo pattern, but there's no way on earth I'm wearing a blaze orange dress, or a camo wedding dress.
Because...yikes. A slender girl could pull it off, but a woman my size would look like the most comfortable sofa in the hunting lodge.
I do have a rather large amount of chocolate brown taffeta with a slight gold sheen to it, which would work perfectly, if I can talk myself into a brown wedding dress. But in ALL of the pictures in my head, my dress is a light color; gold, silver, light bronze, (are you noticing the metallic theme, here?) or taupe, but never navy or brown or red.
The only firm decision I've made is that I won't wear a white or cream dress, partly because white makes me look really washed-out, and partly because I am that kid in the Tide commercial who just can't keep her clothes clean. I'm the Pigpen of the white clothing world. And, of course, pink is out.
I don't know what to do. I already asked if we could elope, and got the big N O. The Hotness is all "Buy a dress, I don't care what it costs" but the idea of making my own dress was never about saving money, so that's not the answer.
At this point, I'm tempted to make ten dresses, and then just pick the one I like best on my wedding day. *sigh* Or maybe I'll just join Mrs. G's Woman's Colony and leave The Hotness to tend the cats and pine for me.
I've draped and re-draped the bodice, but no matter what I do, I can't shake the feeling that it's too soon to be making a muslin. This probably explains why I posted about the tragic love affair between my dress dummy and my vacuum cleaner - I am slowly going crazy.
As I work on the muslin, the clear picture I have in my head (of the dress I thought I wanted) keeps changing, and it's driving me mad. It's not that I've forgotten what it looks like, it's just that the picture keeps changing, now, and nothing is sticking, so every time I try to adapt my muslin to the picture, by the time I'm finished, it no longer matches the new picture in my mind.
I have a number of photos I've been using for inspiration, ones that I've gotten from bridal shows, magazines, and websites, and honestly, the dresses I LOVE are all so different that I'm completely stuck. I've been to bridal salons and tried on a number of styles, and while I'm not egotistical enough to say that they all look fabulous on me, they at least, for the most part, all look just fine.
I've tried on about 60 dresses over the past two years (we've been engaged since August 2006), but I've never had that "this is the one" feeling, because it's always been in my heart to make my own dress.
The closest I've come to that feeling was when I tried on the muslin for The Small Dress. That muslin is NOT finished to a high standard (or barely any standard), but it IS the overall correct look and feel; it's simple and comfortable, but with the correct fabric, and the judicious use of sparkly beads, it will become something a little more formal. Admittedly, the picture in that post does make me look like a bit of a bridge troll, but that's due more to the fact that I'm the least photogenic human being on earth than to any failing of the dress itself.
Anyway, I've been watching a lot of Say Yes To The Dress on TLC, reading my nine thousand bridal magazines, and looking at an endless number of dresses online, but while I'm sure it's hurting my ability to make a firm decision, I honestly don't think that quitting is an option at this point.
I think the biggest thing thats hurting me that I can't decide on a color.
I prefer silver over gold, but gold looks better on me. I love dresses in non-traditional colors like red and blue, but I find that if you're not really careful, you end up looking less like a bride and more like a prom queen, which is not a BAD thing, but it's not what I personally want from my Big Dress.
The groomsmen are going to be wearing vests like this one, which is a hunting camo pattern, but there's no way on earth I'm wearing a blaze orange dress, or a camo wedding dress.
Because...yikes. A slender girl could pull it off, but a woman my size would look like the most comfortable sofa in the hunting lodge.
I do have a rather large amount of chocolate brown taffeta with a slight gold sheen to it, which would work perfectly, if I can talk myself into a brown wedding dress. But in ALL of the pictures in my head, my dress is a light color; gold, silver, light bronze, (are you noticing the metallic theme, here?) or taupe, but never navy or brown or red.
The only firm decision I've made is that I won't wear a white or cream dress, partly because white makes me look really washed-out, and partly because I am that kid in the Tide commercial who just can't keep her clothes clean. I'm the Pigpen of the white clothing world. And, of course, pink is out.
I don't know what to do. I already asked if we could elope, and got the big N O. The Hotness is all "Buy a dress, I don't care what it costs" but the idea of making my own dress was never about saving money, so that's not the answer.
At this point, I'm tempted to make ten dresses, and then just pick the one I like best on my wedding day. *sigh* Or maybe I'll just join Mrs. G's Woman's Colony and leave The Hotness to tend the cats and pine for me.
Labels: Big Dress Avoidance, rant, wedding dress
I did exactly the same thing. We have been engaged since January 2007 and I have dozens of sketches of designs that I have done for dresses. I never started because I could never decide what to do. And what I am doing now is vastly different from my original plan. BUT, please take these words of caution....I am now super scrambling to make two dresses (still can't decide!) in a month because I fiddle-faddled so long about the design. So consider carefully, but at some point, just cut yourself off. There is no such thing as The Perfect Dress. At least not for me. But I LOVE both the dresses I am making now. (shew, long comment. sorry)
Hey, long comments full of advice are MOST welcome!
You're totally right - at some point, I have to just be firm. Luckily, my Small Dress is all figured out, and is a cinch to assemble, but I have a feeling that my big dress is going to involve some type of corset top, which I won't be able to put off for too long.
Keep trying! You've already identified what you *don't* want: bright colors, camo or pink. I would do the same with design features and pictures and start eliminating the ones that are "just ok" and "sort of like" and get it down to what you love. When you hit the right thing, you will know it. I've been there with art garment elements and I literally bounce around the room (not a pretty sight) because I know what I see is right.
That said, I do agree with Brooke. Set a deadline for picking and stick with it. You don't want to rush making the gown.
You definitely want to skip the camo dress; it's just wrong! I don't think a slender girl could pull that off, either, except maybe in the woods. Go for gold or silver. It's what you really want; I've seen that a million times in your posts already. OK, that decision's done. Now, onward! To the style!