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Craft Rage

...Making a mess of things since 1973


A bit of wedding planning.

I suck at making plans. Especially party plans. This runs in my family; I swear, it's not just me.

For example, my mom was dead set on throwing me a Sweet 16 party. Even though the previous 15 birthday parties had been poorly attended, because my birthday is in August, and there's generally nobody around, my mom really, really wanted to give me this experience.

She rented a hall, did real invitations and sent them out, and organized pizza for 50. 20 people showed up; eight of my friends, and twelve of their PARENTS. Nothing says "party down" like a bunch of parents.

Still, I loved that not-party, because the friends who DID attend were actually great friends, people I totally loved, and all of them saw the humor in sitting in a huge empty hall, eating cold pizza with their parents watching. We still laugh about that night, and I think my mom might still have some of the leftover pizza in the freezer.

Anyway, ever since that day, I've always had an intense fear of party-planning. What if nobody shows up? What if the food arrives cold? What if everyone's parents are there, so everybody is too shy to dance? What if everyone goes home at 8:00pm?

Thus, I resist being a hostess, but apparently, since I can't talk The Hotness into eloping, I have no choice on this one.

In order to help me plan a successful wedding, I've purchased and discarded 5 (FIVE!) different wedding planner organizer thingies. I hate organizers. I hate having to carry one little book with me everywhere I go. I hate my handwriting, mostly because I hate writing by hand - why can't I just beam my thoughts onto a piece of paper? Why has nobody invented a microchip for my brain that will do this?

I hate being touched by strangers, and people in wedding boutiques? They want to hold my hands and stare at my ring, and hug me, and squeal with congratulations. And put their fingers in the bodice of the dress I'm trying on, and muck around with my hair to show me what it would look like with a veil. It makes me jumpy and flinchy and twitchy. Gah! I appreciate their kind wishes and their desire to help, but I also wish they'd keep their dirty paws to themselves.

That said, I love The Hotness to tiny little bits, and can barely wait to get knocked up and start gestating his zygote married.

I've now located one of the organizers I "lost" last year, and have started actually using it, even though it feels awkward to do so. Of the five planners, this is the one with the most manageable checklist; honestly, I don't need a list that gives me a separate place to note whether or not my flower girl has gone to the bathroom right before the ceremony.

Thus far, we haven't finalized our guest list, which we need to know in order to figure out our venue. We wanted to get married at home, in our own backyard, but since we no longer have any sort of grass, or fence, or anything like that, it seems like this might not work, so we'll have to seek another location. There's a lovely little United church in our town; I need to speak with the pastor to see if he'll do the honors, and there's a hall in town that will do nicely, even though it does look just like a school gym. Who cares - it's covered, so if it rains, all will be well.

The food is up in the air; we're not fancy, though, so it's likely to be pretty basic, hearty fare - again, we need to know how many people we need to feed before we can finalize this.

The dresses are in motion, as are all the accessories; my mom's making my veil and headpiece, has given me her pearls, and is making my bridal party's bouquets and boutonnieres.

The decor will depend a little bit on the venue, but again, my mom is the creative director, and will help put together the centerpieces and favors. The Hotness and I still haven't decided on what kind of favors, mostly because we haven't finished our guest list; if it's just close friends and family, which is what we both want, we'll probably spend a bit more on favors than if we end up inviting everyone and their cousin.

The colors for my wedding decor are pretty flexible. The groomsmen will be wearing outfits similar to this, but probably without the jacket, depending on the weather;

We may not end up going with Mossy Oak Breakup, which is what the vest in the picture is made of; we might go with something a little warmer, like Mossy Oak Obsession, or Realtree Hardwood Green.

Please note; my wedding theme is not "Hunting", it is "Whatever Works". The Hotness and his family are avid hunters. I feel the need to add that they're not sport hunters, who hunt from vehicles and/or kill things for the sake of killing them, but rather, subsistence hunters who eat what they kill, and waste as little as possible. I'm not sure why I felt I should add that; I'm assuming it's Sarah Palin's fault - that whole helicopter hunting thing just freaks me out.

Anyway, the vests are something all the groomsmen will feel comfortable in, and instead of ties, they'll be wearing duck calls around their necks. Since the vests have a fairly broad colorway, I figure what the heck - why tie myself down to one or two colors; instead, I'm going wild.

Our regular wedding stuff will be fairly neutral; I plan to try to make the paper for my actual invitations (which I'll post about - I've made paper before with varying degrees of success). If my paper-making fails, we'll be going with plain off-white or cream cardstock for invitations and ribbons and such, but as far as flowers go, well, instead of making arrangements with a florist, I'll be planting a flower garden, focusing on green, gold, russet, and (for variety and for the Minnesota Vikings) shades of purple.

Essentially, my decorating plan is that whatever flowers live until August 15th will be in my centerpieces and decorations. The night before the wedding, we'll be stuffing flowers in whatever vases I have on hand, and that'll be it.

If the worst should happen, and I find myself unable to grow anything, well, we'll make a last-minute trip to the grocery store and buy whatever's there. I just don't care enough about flowers to spend a few thousand dollars on them. I fully support brides who agonize over their decisions and haggle with their husbands-to-be over the flower budget, and cry themselves to sleep when they find out that the flower they have their heart set on isn't in season, and will have to be flown from South Africa and will cost $60.00 a bloom. For me, though - well, meh. As long as they don't appear diseased, I'll be happy.

We don't have anyone to perform the office of flower girl, but The Hotness has a whole slew of nephews, so we'll probably have those trooping down the aisle, ostensibly doing the pee-pee dance all the way down, because I neglected to use the right organizer. If all goes well, they'll make some sort of amusing commotion as we exchange our vows, so that the audience can have a good laugh, and we can end on a high note before heading off to the reception. Please, boys, anything but diarrhea.

There's more, but suddenly, I feel the need to go and work on my guest list. And find that other organizer.



for this post

Blogger camillaknits Says:

Hey, we (meaning I did all the work and the kids had all the smooshy fun) made paper once with wildflower seeds in it. They all sort of settled in the 'deckle edge' of the screen and the recipients were told to go bury the letter for a surprise. Would make a memorable invite, no?
And you could live to regret not having the pee checklist. Find. That. Organizer.
Best to you, Oh Crafty One. C

Blogger Juliet Says:

I hope you don't mind but I am reading your wedding posts and gleaning a few ideas off them. Like growing your own flowers. I have a huge garden, it makes total sense. I too understand that some people have dreamed about what their wedding will be like and understandably want to make it happen, but I've spent three hours in my life imagining my wedding. "Elvis" takes up most of the imagining, more than the dress or what my hair will be like. Anyways, I like the idea of low-stress and flexibility on a day that is so important.

I am bad with event planning. In the past any parties I threw tended to be thrown at the last minute and featured a less than fantastic food array. We are getting married in Vegas, but plan to hold a reception here, with food, music and booze. Michael is way more detail oriented than I am, so it won't be thrown together at the last minute.

One thing I will be doing is making beer and wine for the reception. I have turned our second bedroom into a small brewery. I'm not a raging alcoholic, but I like a glass of wine or beer sometimes. Right now i have 5 carboys on the go. This is my first try with wine, but the beer turns out quite nicely. We may get some professionally-made stuff in case some people can't handle the homebrew... we'll see how well it turns out.

Keep the wedding stuff coming!

Blogger Kristin Says:

I think it is most wise to have your own flowers. It's too much when brides special order the perfect shade of peach roses from overseas because they are out of season here stuff. Who the heck is going to remember the flowers anyway with your gorgeous dress, your awesome groomsmen and the Hotness wearing duck calls, and a parade of pee dancing nephews, right?? I think weddings should reflect the couple's personality and it sounds like you two are doing a great job with that.
BTW, If that guy in the tux ad is at your wedding, I would like an invite please. :-)


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