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Craft Rage

...Making a mess of things since 1973

 

A bit of wedding planning.

I suck at making plans. Especially party plans. This runs in my family; I swear, it's not just me.

For example, my mom was dead set on throwing me a Sweet 16 party. Even though the previous 15 birthday parties had been poorly attended, because my birthday is in August, and there's generally nobody around, my mom really, really wanted to give me this experience.

She rented a hall, did real invitations and sent them out, and organized pizza for 50. 20 people showed up; eight of my friends, and twelve of their PARENTS. Nothing says "party down" like a bunch of parents.

Still, I loved that not-party, because the friends who DID attend were actually great friends, people I totally loved, and all of them saw the humor in sitting in a huge empty hall, eating cold pizza with their parents watching. We still laugh about that night, and I think my mom might still have some of the leftover pizza in the freezer.

Anyway, ever since that day, I've always had an intense fear of party-planning. What if nobody shows up? What if the food arrives cold? What if everyone's parents are there, so everybody is too shy to dance? What if everyone goes home at 8:00pm?

Thus, I resist being a hostess, but apparently, since I can't talk The Hotness into eloping, I have no choice on this one.

In order to help me plan a successful wedding, I've purchased and discarded 5 (FIVE!) different wedding planner organizer thingies. I hate organizers. I hate having to carry one little book with me everywhere I go. I hate my handwriting, mostly because I hate writing by hand - why can't I just beam my thoughts onto a piece of paper? Why has nobody invented a microchip for my brain that will do this?

I hate being touched by strangers, and people in wedding boutiques? They want to hold my hands and stare at my ring, and hug me, and squeal with congratulations. And put their fingers in the bodice of the dress I'm trying on, and muck around with my hair to show me what it would look like with a veil. It makes me jumpy and flinchy and twitchy. Gah! I appreciate their kind wishes and their desire to help, but I also wish they'd keep their dirty paws to themselves.

That said, I love The Hotness to tiny little bits, and can barely wait to get knocked up and start gestating his zygote married.

I've now located one of the organizers I "lost" last year, and have started actually using it, even though it feels awkward to do so. Of the five planners, this is the one with the most manageable checklist; honestly, I don't need a list that gives me a separate place to note whether or not my flower girl has gone to the bathroom right before the ceremony.

Thus far, we haven't finalized our guest list, which we need to know in order to figure out our venue. We wanted to get married at home, in our own backyard, but since we no longer have any sort of grass, or fence, or anything like that, it seems like this might not work, so we'll have to seek another location. There's a lovely little United church in our town; I need to speak with the pastor to see if he'll do the honors, and there's a hall in town that will do nicely, even though it does look just like a school gym. Who cares - it's covered, so if it rains, all will be well.

The food is up in the air; we're not fancy, though, so it's likely to be pretty basic, hearty fare - again, we need to know how many people we need to feed before we can finalize this.

The dresses are in motion, as are all the accessories; my mom's making my veil and headpiece, has given me her pearls, and is making my bridal party's bouquets and boutonnieres.

The decor will depend a little bit on the venue, but again, my mom is the creative director, and will help put together the centerpieces and favors. The Hotness and I still haven't decided on what kind of favors, mostly because we haven't finished our guest list; if it's just close friends and family, which is what we both want, we'll probably spend a bit more on favors than if we end up inviting everyone and their cousin.

The colors for my wedding decor are pretty flexible. The groomsmen will be wearing outfits similar to this, but probably without the jacket, depending on the weather;

We may not end up going with Mossy Oak Breakup, which is what the vest in the picture is made of; we might go with something a little warmer, like Mossy Oak Obsession, or Realtree Hardwood Green.

Please note; my wedding theme is not "Hunting", it is "Whatever Works". The Hotness and his family are avid hunters. I feel the need to add that they're not sport hunters, who hunt from vehicles and/or kill things for the sake of killing them, but rather, subsistence hunters who eat what they kill, and waste as little as possible. I'm not sure why I felt I should add that; I'm assuming it's Sarah Palin's fault - that whole helicopter hunting thing just freaks me out.

Anyway, the vests are something all the groomsmen will feel comfortable in, and instead of ties, they'll be wearing duck calls around their necks. Since the vests have a fairly broad colorway, I figure what the heck - why tie myself down to one or two colors; instead, I'm going wild.

Our regular wedding stuff will be fairly neutral; I plan to try to make the paper for my actual invitations (which I'll post about - I've made paper before with varying degrees of success). If my paper-making fails, we'll be going with plain off-white or cream cardstock for invitations and ribbons and such, but as far as flowers go, well, instead of making arrangements with a florist, I'll be planting a flower garden, focusing on green, gold, russet, and (for variety and for the Minnesota Vikings) shades of purple.

Essentially, my decorating plan is that whatever flowers live until August 15th will be in my centerpieces and decorations. The night before the wedding, we'll be stuffing flowers in whatever vases I have on hand, and that'll be it.

If the worst should happen, and I find myself unable to grow anything, well, we'll make a last-minute trip to the grocery store and buy whatever's there. I just don't care enough about flowers to spend a few thousand dollars on them. I fully support brides who agonize over their decisions and haggle with their husbands-to-be over the flower budget, and cry themselves to sleep when they find out that the flower they have their heart set on isn't in season, and will have to be flown from South Africa and will cost $60.00 a bloom. For me, though - well, meh. As long as they don't appear diseased, I'll be happy.

We don't have anyone to perform the office of flower girl, but The Hotness has a whole slew of nephews, so we'll probably have those trooping down the aisle, ostensibly doing the pee-pee dance all the way down, because I neglected to use the right organizer. If all goes well, they'll make some sort of amusing commotion as we exchange our vows, so that the audience can have a good laugh, and we can end on a high note before heading off to the reception. Please, boys, anything but diarrhea.

There's more, but suddenly, I feel the need to go and work on my guest list. And find that other organizer.

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I ate the turkey. All of the turkey.

I didn't get any blogging OR sewing done this Thanksgiving weekend, because my Mom made a surprise visit.

She and her boyfriend live about six hours west of here, but she popped up on Thursday, with the idea of cooking a big turkey dinner on Sunday. Now, since The Hotness loves turkey more than life itself, and the only turkey I make these days generally gets cooked in the microwave, this was great news! We took a trip to the grocery store, picked up what we needed, and headed back home.

As an aside, my Mom is a man-magnet. Wherever we go, whatever we're doing, someone ALWAYS tries to pick up my mom. And not only, like, dirty bums, either, but good-looking, well-dressed, age-appropriate men. Currently, she's attracting Silver Foxes, which is what I call hot old dudes - I personally wouldn't necessarily want to see them with their shirt off, but they have a certain je ne sais quois. Like Richard Gere or Tim Gunn. This has happened for as long as I can remember, and happens pretty much any time we go out in public.

So just like the Days Of Yore (aka my childhood), I stood by, shifting from foot to foot, sighing loudly and rolling my eyes while the Silver Fox asked my Mom's advice on what size turkey a single man should cook, how a single man should cook it, whether a single man should make stuffing, and if so, what kind.

He asked her to help him pick out a turkey, which she did, then asked him where to find ingredients to stuff it with, which she did, before finally seeing where this was going, and excusing herself with a grin and a wave, leaving him perfectly charmed. I know "perfectly charmed" when I see it, because it's the same expression The Hotness gets when he's outside feeding the birds, and manages to entice one of them to land on his finger and look at him sideways for a moment before flitting away.

Where was I? Oh yeah, the turkey. It was awesome, and now it's all gone! Except for the two pounds of turkey I have to package up and freeze. I love my FoodSaver. You know, there's really not a lot to say about a turkey dinner. I didn't realize that before I started this post. Sorry to have taken up your time!

If it helps, while we were waiting for the bird to unthaw, Mom and I also did a bit of wedding planning, which I'll post about tomorrow.

Hey, can I get your opinion?

I was thinking of buying everyone their bridesmaid dress, and taking them for a manicure/spa day, the day before the wedding, instead of doing the traditional bridesmaid gift. I've received such gifts in the past, and honestly, though I love the picture frames and bracelets, and other odds and ends I've personally gotten, I'm 35, and so is my whole group of bridesmaids; none of us needs another picture frame or glittery piece of color-matched wedding jewelery. Is it tacky to replace the traditional bridesmaid gift by paying for the dress and the spa day, or is this a perfectly acceptable replacement?

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Bride vs Groom Dance-off

I wonder if I could talk The Hotness into doing this at our wedding. The first 45 seconds looks pretty generic, but as you can see, it rapidly turns into something else indeed!



This is the best thing I've seen on the internet today!

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Some wedding news

Well, it's been a busy couple of weeks; I've sewn a corset and a (pink!) sundress, but haven't had time to post about it, because we've had a lot going on. I'll do that in the next few posts, though, I promise!

For the first two weeks of April, Dear Fiance was sick as a dog. I mean, SICK. We've been together for six years, and every year about this time, he picks up some nasty flu virus, but he's one of those gung-ho types who refuses to take a sick day. He'll go to work anyway, and just work on his own so as not to infect anyone else, but come hell or high water, DF does NOT take sick days!

Well, this time around, he missed four days. Bedridden the entire time. There's a fairly bad strain going around our city right now, and all doctors are doing are taking swabs and calling you if it turns out to be strep - other than that, unless you have fluid in your lungs, you're on your own.

Anyway, between nursing him and working, I've had time to sew at night, but no energy to post about it.

As to the title of this post, well, here's the thing; DF and I have been engaged since August 2006. When we got engaged, we had just purchased our first home, and decided on a long engagement, ostensibly to allow time to plan things properly. The thing is, along with not being very crafty, I'm also not much of a party planner. And then we started to do some minor renos around the house, and the wedding fell by the wayside.

The bottom line is, the wedding we were going to have this August remains almost completely unplanned.

When we got back from our trip to Mexico in March, we started idly chatting about putting the wedding off for a year, so that we could finish our renos and get married at home, but we both felt like we've already been waiting so long that neither of us really wanted to make the decision. Then, last week we learned that my future sister in law is pregnant, and her due date is a couple of weeks before our our original wedding date. Decision made!

Our new wedding date is August 15, 2009, and I think I'm actually more excited about this date than I was about our last one. The big reason, I think, is that now we have a firm plan to have the reception at home. Our house is situated on about an acre of grass, backing onto pasture and farmland on two sides.



It's lovely and green, and only really needs a fence and some planning to make it look really pretty. It's more than large enough to host our small, informal (read incredibly casual) gathering. And along with everything else, we're situated about ten minutes away from a Provincial Park that has a lovely lake with a pretty little beach - perfect for pictures!

I love the idea of getting married at home. Of course, there's a lot of work to be done - this summer, we need to put up a fence, do some grading to even the grass out a bit, and put in our second bathroom downstairs, as we've been planning for some time.

Anyway, enough rambling about the wedding. Next post, I'll show you a picture of the wedding dress I've decided to make, as well as tell you my deepest, darkest secret. Cliffhanger!

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