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Craft Rage

...Making a mess of things since 1973

 

Help! What needle should I be using?

I've been tacking together the taffeta version of my wedding dress muslin, but have run into a problem that's driving me NUTS.

I bought Microfibre needles and Microtex needles, and have tried both, but no matter what I do, I'm getting some pretty serious railroading in my taffeta. Since The Hotness has the camera at work today, I had to borrow a picture from the internet to explain what I mean, in case "railroaded" isn't the correct term.

See how the stitches have created little pulls in the fabric? I understand WHY this is happening, but I don't know what to do to fix it. I've tried ball-point needles, sharps, skinny ones, fat ones, and nothing is working.

Can anyone tell me what the right kind/size of needle to use to machine-sew taffeta?

It's a medium-weight polyester taffeta, prewashed and with a very soft hand.

I know it's just a muslin, so I'm not terribly worried about fixing the problem on THIS garment, but the fabric for my actual dress may end up being taffeta, so...please save me from a nervous breakdown!

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What do you name a deaf kitten?

Who cares, it won't come when you call it!

Old joke, and suddenly, not as funny. Well, okay, still as funny, but only because I have the sense of humor of a six year old.

The magic number of cats in our household is four. Two for The Hotness and two for me. I lie - all four are for The Hotness, because he is to cats as St. Patrick is to snakes.

In March, we lost our eldest cat to old age, and I swore up and down, no more cats, not for another two years. After about a month had passed, The Hotness started looking in the classifieds and on the SPCA website for kittens, but I was adamant - no more cats. At least, not until Smooshy was two - I don't want a bunch of cats the same age, because it seems like they all hit the wall at the same time, and that's hard on a cat family, much less the human family.

Three cats are enough cats.

In an attempt to subvert my will, The Hotness would print out pictures of kittens and tape them to the bathroom mirror, or leave them on the seat of my chair, or tape them to the TV remote, but I kept saying no - no more - no kittens.

Then yesterday, I was looking for sewing stuff on Kijiji - I have pretty good luck finding old sewing machines there - when I accidentally (I swear, it was an accident!) clicked on Cats and Kittens. The picture at the top of the screen showed the grimiest, skinniest, saddest-looking kitten I've ever seen. I'm not partial to white cats, but I AM a sucker for a sob story.

The lady who posted the picture had found the kitten in the ditch on one of the hottest days we've had this year. She was driving down a gravel road and stopped for a stop sign when she saw something white and small, just kind of laying there, swishing it's tail. She said "I told myself not to look, because I just KNEW it was going to be a cat, and that I wouldn't be able to drive off and leave the thing."

This woman is a dog trainer, and at the time, she had a van full of her own very large dogs, but she pulled over, shoved the dogs into the back, and walked over to this kitten, who didn't even have the strength to run away.

Unfortunately, after a night of trying to make it comfortable and help it eat a bit, she started to get suspicious that the kitten, in addition to its ear mite infestation and its malnutrition, might also be deaf. Turns out, she was right. The little guy is deaf as a fencepost.

She couldn't keep it, not with a house full of great danes and rotties (she's a dog trainer, remember) and our local SPCA is not currently accepting cats - they have NO empty cages at all, and have run out of cat litter six times in the last few months - if it wasn't for folks bringing in the odd bag of cat-litter for donations, they'd be in a world of hurt.

When I say "not currently accepting cats," what I mean is, they'll still accept cats, but it's not a no-kill facility, and once they reach, and, God love 'em for trying, exceed their capacity, there's little else to do but make room. Enough said.

What was I supposed to do? I already have one cat with missing head-flesh (apparently, the problem is the result of food intolerance, and isn't stress related, thank goodness) and two others, one just barely a year old. But I couldn't stop myself. I sent the woman an email, and made arrangements to take the little gaffer off her hands.

Long story short, meet The Kitten With No Name.

I've given him a bath and a really good ear-cleaning (along with an ear mite treatment - ugh!). He's barfed twice already, and has the shakes like he's coming off a three-day bender, and has basically lain in one position since I got him. He played briefly with a toy shrimp I brought him, but lost interest and fell asleep.

I think he'll be all right, once his tummy calms down. He drank a little water, and was a bit interested in the litterbox. But what's killing me is that he can't hear the sound of my voice, so he can't tell that I'm trying to be nice to him. I know he's just a cat, but it's really breaking my heart that he can't hear me, and that I'm scaring him by just showing up next to him.

The only time he's stopped shaking is when I sat on the couch and held him so that his head was resting against the side of my neck, then sang "You Are My Sunshine" about nine thousand times, so he could feel the vibration.

Poor little sucker.

I'm going to go play the xylophone on his little ribs for awhile, and curse myself for getting involved.

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They think I'm evil

I finally learned why strangers have been looking at me like I'm a madwoman lately.

I only used to listen to my MP3 player while I was at home, doing housework or sewing, or gardening, or stalking the gophers that have taken up residence on the back lawn. Recently, I've started bringing my MP3 player into town, so I can listen when I'm shopping, or working, or whatever.

I generally listen to audiobooks instead of music, especially in public. I used to listen to music, but I stopped because, unless I am actively concentrating on being still and quiet, I am completely unable to control my singing and dancing.

If there's music, and I either know the words, or can make them up fast enough, I am singing without realizing it. I'm genuinely unaware of the sounds that are coming out of my mouth. It wouldn't be so bad if I could control my volume, but no, if I'm singing, I'm singing in AT LEAST the same volume as my normal speech, and usually louder. And if it's a tune I can dance to, I am also dancing. Well, not just dancing. Dancing and walking, dancing and shopping, dancing and trying to stand still. It's...well, it's a travesty, since I lack both a decent singing voice AND coordination.

Anyway, when I go out in public now, or do anything that requires me to sit still, I listen to audiobooks instead of music. Or at least, I used to.

Yesterday, I was at the gas station, waiting in line to pay for my gas. It was a pretty long lineup, so I plugged my earbuds in and turned on my book, and as the line slowly moved forward, there was a part about a woman tugging her braid. I reached up and gave my own braid a good tug. Then, it described a character doing an evil, sneering laugh.

Unconsciously, I did an evil, sneering laugh. Out loud.

I realized immediately what I'd done. For a second, it was like time froze. The two women in front of me turned their heads very slowly, to look over their shoulders with matching, horrified expressions, and the guy behind the counter stared as though I'd just whipped a Glock from my waistband. I slipped ahead, dropped two twenties on the counter, and ran out of the store, feeling like my face was about to melt off my head.

I guess I have to find a new favorite gas station.

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Aye Caramba!

Sorry for the blip in my blogging - I was doing so well, there. I'll be back to daily posts very soon, and I have a lot to post about, but I took a pretty bad tumble off our deck, and am having a wee bit of difficulty getting around.

I'm not sure which part of my fall I enjoyed the most, the sound my knee made, or the sound my ankle made, or the part where I laid in the dirt for half an hour, pretending not to cry, cursing myself for flailing as I fell. See, when you fall down, you're supposed to go limp - it's supposed to be easier on the body, and honestly, I wipe out so much that I'm pretty good at instinctively relaxing on the way down.

This time, though, I had my laptop slung over one shoulder, my car keys in the other hand, and a very limited amount of space to fall - too far to the right, and I would have landed atop a very large pile of recently removed Christmas lights which SOMEONE should have wound up, packed up, and stored by now. If I'd landed too far to the left, I would have fallen atop a large, handmade bird house which might just be the love of my fiance's life. Going limp wasn't an option.

So I flailed as I fell, trying to land in the clear space, and I let go of my keys as I went down. With the power of the mad flail behind them, they flew pretty far, and landed about 30 feet away from both the door of my house AND my car door, about 25 feet from where I went down.

Even better, I live 25 minutes away from town, and inside the house, I have a staircase I'd have to climb in order to get to a phone. So what did I do? I dragged myself on my belly across the freshly tilled soil and retrieved my keys, then dragged myself back to my car, where I used the mirror to pull myself up. I got in, drove to where my laptop landed, then did a donut on my back lawn to drive myself into town, to emergency.

Anyway, at least I can put it into perspective - bad news, I wrecked my left leg, good news, I waxed my legs JUST before I went outside, so at least I didn't bring fur into the ER.

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Yeah, I'm that dumb

I had a real "DOH!" moment yesterday. I cut and assembled the simplest circle skirt ever;
I LURVE this skirt, 'cause it's simple and pretty, and can be made out of anything, and also because from cutting to wearing is an hour, tops, if you're paying attention. I know this because I've gotten into the final ten minutes TWICE, then made the most ridiculous mistake ever, and ended up with a whole lot of circle-skirt-shaped scrap fabric.

For me, the final ten minutes would have been wrapping the hem with a fun contrasting bias binding, but I decided to make a slight change to take in a few inches at the waist - I didn't NEED to, but I decided I wanted to. So I started to unpick the narrow waistband with my seam ripper.

I don't enjoy listening to music while I sew - I find it very distracting, because I tend to sing along, loudly. It's difficult to sew when you've got your head thrown back, belting out the words to Kathy Mattea's 455 Rocket - "Did you boys come here to race, or just kiss?". Also, I can't sew to Metallica, because I am always driven to do the white-girl head-bang - sort of a really enthusiastic nod. And forget Top 40 - there's no need to be dancing around my sewing room, trying to perfect my booty pop.

Instead of listening to music, I listen to books on CD, or audiobooks I've downloaded from various sellers online. Normally, it just sort of plays in the background, and I don't pay a lot of attention, just absorbing it by osmosis, but for some reason, I was listening more than sewing. Mistake.

Not even thinking about it, I picked stitches on the waistband I intended to remove, freeing up about 5" of the band. Then, for some reason I cannot explain, I decided to rip the rest of the stitches by giving the waistband a good yank. Uh, yeah, note to self - don't do that. About four inches into the rip, the waistband stitches held, and the fabric itself ripped, down about six inches into the skirt. Oy vey!

So there I was, shocked and dismayed, but figured, what the heck, in for a penny, right? I shifted the fabric and gave it another tug. Another length of waistband stitches came free, then held again - a second rip, about 8" into the skirt. Well, what the heck - one more tug can't hurt, right? The third and final rip extends about 6" down, and I still have to unpick the stitches on the last few inches of waistband.

I'm not too worried - the print is such that I can easily stitch the fabric back together with no great loss in the volume of the skirt, though the rips will likely sit funny. Still, I'll have a cool and comfortable skirt for bopping around town, so whatever. But really - I think maybe this pattern is cursed, and I shouldn't make another attempt until I'm willing to think about nothing BUT the skirt I'm sewing.

Off topic - in an earlier post, I mentioned that I had bought a fabric called Peony Garden almost compulsively, in two of three available colors, red/green and purple/green. Well, I finally broke down and bought the last of the three, yellow/gold, and I've already decided to go back for more. What's wrong with me?? Sheesh!

Honestly, I don't know why this particular fabric speaks to me - I'm not a floral person at all. But it's so crisp and weighty, and the colors just...pop. Well, except for the yellow/gold - it's much livelier in real life than it is in the picture. Still, what an odd choice for me!



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